We love it when our kids make friends at school, but we all know that not all friends are created equal. While we’d love everyone to get along and be friends, there are sometimes that you’ll find your kid hanging out with a crowd you’re not thrilled with.
Maybe they’ve started being disrespectful, or have begun using bad language – traits they’re picking up from their classmates at school. You can’t be with your child 24 hours a day – what should you do if they start picking up these bad traits from their friends and classmates?
First of all, make sure you’re reinforcing the rules at home. If your child starts doing things you do not approve of, you need to let them know that it’s not OK; that there’s a reason that we don’t use language like that or act in that way. If you let it slide at home, the odds increase that they’ll continue acting that way.
You want to teach them to stand up for themselves. Convince them that your rules are the right way to act, and they might be able to stand up to their negative friends on the playground, teaching them the appropriate way to behave. Peer pressure is an amazing force, and sometimes, all it takes is one child to stand up for good behavior to nip bad behavior in the bud.
One thing you should not do is to blame their friends for your child’s behavior, and telling your child not to play with someone should be a fairly last resort, as well. Remember that other children aren’t forcing your child to act in certain ways; they have ultimate responsibility for their own actions. If they’re being disrespectful, they’re choosing to be disrespectful. Share your concerns with them, and let them know that there will be consequences if they keep acting that way – they’re the ones who get to choose how they behave, and reap the rewards or suffer the consequences of their choices.
Of course, the best thing you can do is to model good behavior at home. Kids learn from what they see every day. Treat your child with respect, and model that that’s how people who care about one another act, and they’re liable to pick up on that themselves.
At the end of the day, you’re the parent. You have the ability to stop the friendship as a last resort, if you feel that they’re just too much of a bad influence. It shouldn’t be your first move – helping both your child and their friend would be an exceptionally positive experience for all involved. Sometimes, however, there’s nothing you can do. Remember that your first responsibility is to your child. If you need to separate your child from a bad influence after trying all other options, then you’re making the right decision to help your child continue to develop into a better person.